The Bard's Fire

Egg Nog 2000 - 2020

Eggnog, last of the HarpHaven Pride and the Christmas kittens, passed beyond the Veil last night. She left us peacefully, without distress, in her sleep at the age of 20.

When our most senior cat Pixel passed (at the age of 16) during Thanksgiving Weekend 2000, we were concerned that his “little sister” Chiya wouldn’t be long in following. She was mourning, lonely, and suddenly showing her 15 years. So we went to the animal shelter and adopted two female kittens, which the pound said were about four months and littermates. Based on the time of year, we named the tabby Mistletoe for her brilliant green eyes. The one who looked like a Turkish Van, white but for cinnamon ears and tail, we called Eggnog.

Eggnog was Daddy’s Girl from the get-go, although she never slighted me in the love-and-cuddle department. Himself became an instant hit with our vet’s staff from the moment they walked into the exam room to find a big, fuzzy guy waiting with an adorable kitten on each shoulder. And Chiya, once she settled into having two kittens around, perked up and started being her own kittenish self and playing with the youngsters. I am firmly convinced the Christmas Kittens added another five good-quality years to Chiya’s life.

Eggnog, true to her Turkish Van markings, loved water. She’d play in it every chance she got, including joining me in the shower. She loved the water fountain we got several years ago, that ran a steady stream into the water bowl. Her favorite way of getting a drink was to stick her head into the stream and lap at the stream as it ran off her forehead.

When Mistletoe passed at the age of 17, almost exactly three years ago, we wondered how Eggnog would do without her. It turned out she was quite happy as a solo. Her favorite spot became the arm of Himself’s recliner, whether or not he was in it but especially when he was. I think she liked not having to share him, the water fountain, or me in the shower.

I have no doubt that Eggnog’s arrival in the Summerlands was met by Pixel, Chiya, and Mistletoe, and that the HarpHaven Pride is together again. They gave us thirty-five years of continuous laughter and love, and they have earned their sunbeams.

It’s happened quite a few times over the years. I post something in honor of Pride Month, or guest at a LGBTQA+ convention like Gaylaxicon or OutlantaCon, and one or more someones will ask me some variation of the “What’s a nice/old/heterosexual/married girl like you doing...” question. It happened again recently. As luck would have it, I’d just run across the following piece I wrote for Kage Allen’s “The Face of Gay” online column back in 2012 or 2013. I think it answers the question pretty well.

For me, being an ally isn’t just about what’s right, although that’s a big part of it. It’s also about the people – co-workers, colleagues, friends, and family-of-the-heart – who’ve made activism for gay rights personal. There have been many, but when Kage asked me to contribute a piece here, my thoughts immediately went back more than forty-five years, to the two men who began my journey as an ally.

David and Jeff were, literally, the All-American boys next door. They grew up on neighboring farms and were best friends from the first day of grade school. Good-looking, athletic, popular, solid grade point averages, dated the prettiest girls, on the football and basketball teams...you get the picture. And, as they told me later, they spent most of their lives trying to hide being gay from each other. They managed to sort things out during the summer before they started college and, by the time I met them in 1967, they’d been together as partners for a year.

I was a freshman that year, away from a very sheltered home life for the first time. To say I was naive is an industrial-strength understatement. My survival that first year of college can be laid squarely on the two of them, who took me under their collective wing and kept me from getting into the kind of trouble that it would have been so very easy to get into. They were the older brothers I never had and, as corny as it may sound, we were “family”.

Being included in their lives was a constant learning experience. They were my first exposure to two people of my generation in love and, apart from my grandparents, the only such relationship of any generation I’d seen. They were the first to suggest that my mother’s evaluation of my value as a human being was wrong, and the start of my journey toward healthy self-esteem. And, I suspect, David and Jeff are at least partially responsible for the fact I genuinely like men.

They exposed me to facets of society I didn’t even know existed. That, in that time, in that place, at least to my admittedly-inexperienced eyes, being a gay man was tough. There was no support, no networking as we think of it now, no inroads by a gay rights movement that was rising elsewhere, little in the way of “community” beyond the gay bars. For many it meant a life of lies – to themselves, their parents and siblings, the women they married, their children, to the lovers and casual partners they hooked up with on the sly. That the raids and harassment of patrons by police that, in the near future, would fuel the Stonewall Riots were common, as were the gangs of local thugs who hunted the alleys and parking lots near the bars around closing time. That, even in the face of all that, two men who loved each other as much as they did, could form what, in all respects save legality, was a marriage.

But they were a product of their time and, except in the safety of their apartment, intent on keeping their “secret”. It bothered them, but not enough to risk hurting the families they both loved or jeopardizing their future. When their parents showed increasing concern that neither talked about the girls they were dating and brought “someone special” home to meet them, they enlisted my aid. David, being an only child, was feeling more pressure from his folks than Jeff was from his, which is how I became, at least as far as the families were concerned, “David’s girl”.

The Viet Nam War was in full and bloody swing, and every eighteen-year-old man I knew sweated blood every time he went to the mailbox. With the coming of his nineteenth birthday, the pressure was supposed to be off. Why David suddenly got an induction notice no one ever figured out, just as no one ever found out why his student deferment was canceled or his lottery number went from high 3 digits to “you’re up, kid.”

There was only one other way out of it...David telling the draft board he was gay. Jeff was more than willing to back him up and testify to the fact from first-hand knowledge as his lover. As someone who practically lived with them, I was willing to testify, too. In the end, however, it was the effects on the families that made up David’s mind.

You know where this is going. Just before Christmas 1968, David’s parents were informed that he’d been killed on patrol. Jeff didn’t come back to school after the semester break and, after a few short letters from various places around the country, I never heard from him again. But I’ve thought about him, and about David, many times over the course of the last forty-five years, and about how different things might have been for them if the changes happening now had happened then.

Being an ally isn’t just about what’s right. It’s about the people in our lives who make it personal, the people we love. And I’ve been very fortunate in that regard.

On the one hand, I’m happy to begin my 2020 convention schedule and looking forward to the fun that is AnachroCon. On the other hand, I’m sad that this will be the final year for that lovely convention. But it will be going out in style - 1920s style. Flappers and Speakeasies and Mobsters, Oh MY!

When not on a panel, I’ll be spending as much time as possible at my spot in the Dealer Room, selling the limited number of books I can when flying a trip, and enjoying visits and conversations with those who stop by.

Here are my assignments for Programming, and they look like fun. Unless otherwise noted, all panels are 50 minutes in length.

Friday, Feb. 14

5:00pm - How To Write Effective Villains: Villains can be fun to write, do wonders for plot advancement and character development, and turn into fan favorites. Panelists: Taylor S. Hoch, Lee Martindale (M), Matthew Quinn, Bill Ritch

6:00pm - Opening Ceremonies: Let’s get this party officially started!

7:00pm - That Took Me Out Of The Story! How to avoid losing your readers.: You can’t foresee what might disconnect a reader from your story, but there are some common trip points. Panelists: Lee Martindale, Cecilia Dominic (M), Jo Scott

Saturday, Feb. 15

3:00pm - How To Research Effectively. We discuss how to get the details right without wandering in the wastelands or becoming ensnared. Panelists: Lee Martindale (M), Matthew Quinn, Cecilia Dominic

Sunday, Feb. 16

11:00am - "How I Did It" Different Writers Do Different Stuff, Differently. We discuss and compare our methodology.

1:00pm - Give the Princess a sword! Writing Heroes That Aren't Dudes: It starts with writing a believable female first. Panelists: Mandy & GD Burkhead, Dennis Medbury, Lee Martindale (M)

3:00pm - Closing Ceremonies

...when a decision you know is inevitable must be made. When going one way is impossible, and going the other breaks your heart. For me, that day came this week.

If you know me or have been reading here for any time at all, you know how much I love the convention known as Dragon Con. Except for two years when WorldCon, where I had to be while on the SFWA Board of Directors, fell on the same weekend, Dragon Con has been, professionally and personally, the highlight of every convention year since 2008.

But it goes beyond that. Dragon Con has been a family reunion and gathering of the clan. It’s been spending time in the company of people who had my back, made me laugh, facilitated experiences that I would never have dreamed I’d be part of, and been there with what I needed when I needed it to do what I do. Friends who fit the definition of “family of the heart”.

The decision I’d been putting off couldn’t be put off any longer. The upper body strength that, as a wheelchair-using paraplegic, I’ve been relying on has been degrading over the year or so. Strength and stamina have likewise decreased. Solo travel and the physical stresses of a weeklong, 80,000-attendee convention spread out over multiple hotels and venues has become more than my body can handle.

I’m still able to work smaller, shorter conventions, and will be doing so. But not Dragon Con. That day has passed.

For all the wonderful memories, to my DC family, friends, and fans - thank you for everything. It was one hell of a good ride.

The curtain is about to come down on my 2019 convention season, but not before one last, very special engagement. I’ll be serving as ToastMistress for WindyCon 2019, Nov 15 - 17 at the Westin Lombard Yorktown Center in Lombard, IL in the Chicago area. To say I am both honored and excited is putting it mildly.

Consider the most excellent company I’ll be in, including:

Author GoH: Elizabeth Moon Artist GoH: Mitchell Bentley Science GoH: Geoffrey Landis Musical GoHs: The Harp Twins, Camille and Kennerly Kitt Fan GoH: Chris M. Barkley Special Guest: Eric Flint

And there’s what I’ll be getting into, according to the schedule:

On Friday at 7:00pm, Opening Ceremonies, wherein we get this party started.

On Saturday, I’ll be signing and visiting with folks from 11:00am to noon. Then I have about an hour to get into my fencing gear and warmed up for Fencing GoHs at 1:00pm with Geoffrey Landis, Mary A. Turzillo, and Elizabeth Moon. Yes, there will be pointy steel put to use in a variety of styles. Then at 6:00pm, in an hour called What Makes a Good Space Opera, I’ll have the pleasure of interviewing Elizabeth Moon.

My Sunday begins with a reading from 10:00am - 11:00am and concludes with Closing Ceremonies at 2:00pm.

I can’t think of a more perfect way to finish off the year’s schedule.

Preregistration for my "Writing Killer Openings" workshops at Dragon Con 2019 has closed, and the news is making me smile. Thursday afternoon's session is completely SOLD OUT!

There are, as of this posting, 10 slots open for the Friday morning session that will be available for sale at the door. If last year's response is any indication, these won't last long.

A grand way to start my Dragon Con.

It’s that time of year again. Lists are being made. The BattleChariot is getting a good checking out. Electronics are being paired with their chargers are being tested. I’m banking a little extra sleep against upcoming nights of not nearly enough. And my tentative programming schedule has arrived. DragonCon is less than a month away!

Here’s what currently on my schedule:

Thursday, Aug 29

1:00pm - 3:30pm: Writing Killer Openings Workshop. No better way to kick off my DragonCon than by warping young writer minds and, hopefully, improving slush piles near and far. Live exercises, on-the-spot critiques by yours truly, and fun will be had by all. At last report, there were still spots available. Check it out at https://www.dragoncon.org/things-to-do/programming/workshops/#killer

The evening will be spent with friends from the Costuming Track.

Friday, Aug 30

10:00am - 12:30pm: Writing Killer Openings Workshop. No, you’re not seeing double. Last year, there were so many on the waiting list that, this year, it was decided to add a second session. Same as above, including there being spots still available and where to check it out.

2:30pm - 3:30pm: Why We Read. So many reasons, so little time to talk about why we pick up a book.

Saturday, Aug 31

1:00pm - 2:00pm: Edit, Edit, Edit--& Edit Some More. The “heavy lifting” begins after you type The End on the first draft. Seasoned pros talk about their approach to the revision process. Panelists: R.R. Virdi, Lee Martindale (M), Trisha J. Wooldridge, Patricia Briggs, Keith R.A. DeCandido, Clay and Susan Griffith

5:30pm - 6:30pm: Writing for Today's Savvy Audiences. How do you catch the attention of today’s more sophisticated readers and keep them coming back for more? Panelists: Jonathan Maberry, Cinda Williams Chima, John G. Hartness, Lee Martindale

7:00pm - 8:00pm: Reading. They’re turning me loose for an hour with an audience and my stories. Which story I’ll read hasn’t been decided yet.

Sunday, Sept 1

11:30am - 12:30pm: Who Needs Research? One writer’s casual toss-off of a minor detail can be the reason a reader stops reading if it’s wrong. There’s isn’t a genre out there where it doesn’t happen. We’ll discuss how to research and when to stop and start writing. Panelists: Lee Martindale, D.J. Butler, Marc Alan Edelheit, Declan Finn, John L. Flynn (M), K.N. Lee (M)

1:00pm - 2:00pm: 15-Minute Mentor Session: A chance for budding authors to talk one-on-one with a successful industry professional about business, promotion, the writing process, & career advice. Sign up in the Writer's Track. (Embassy C-D)

4:00pm - 5:00pm: Author Signing: Come by and say hello!

As I said above, this is going to be fun. And having all of Monday free (so far!) may give me a chance to catch a panel or two or catch up with friends. I definitely want to catch one of Tom Smith’s concerts some time during the weekend. And who knows what other mischief I might get into. It’s DragonCon, after all!

I wasn’t supposed to live this long, according to five doctors (the first when I was 8 years old) and one unidentified staff member in the office of a sixth who predicted I’d “be dead in five years” if I didn’t do what they told me to do and take whatever prescription drugs they wanted me to take. I’ve managed to outlive all five doctors, and that unidentified staff member in the office of the sixth isn’t looking too good.

This weekend I'm turning 70, and I'm still here.

I knew, going in, that the last Wholanta was going to be emotional. It has been one of the highlights of my convention year for over a decade. I’ve collected a bushel of one-of-a-kind memories over the years that will always make me smile. Selfish as it may be, I simply did not want it to end.

But if it had to, Wholanta’s final bow was a good one. Excellent programming across multiple tracks, delightful conversations all over the place (including many with Jon Davey, the actor beneath a bunch of my favorite Doctor Who monsters and aliens), and a happy mix of old friends and new. In short, everything that’s made it a grand gathering year after year.

Intellectually, I know that conrunners get tired and need a break. I know that it’s entirely possible that, as they’ve said, Wholanta is ending “for now” and could rise again in a few years. I hope so. Because, if a mad individual steps out of a blue police box and beckons me to come aboard, I’ll say yes. In a heartbeat.

Last year, I had the pleasure of teaching a sold-out-and-then-some workshop at DragonCon called “Writing Killer Openings”. Students focused on writing opening lines and paragraphs that grab reader attention right out of the gate through the use of live exercises and individual critiques. It was, apparently, quite successful and definitely a lot of fun.

I’m pleased to report that I’ll be doing it again, times two, at DragonCon 2019. Students signing up can chose either the Thursday, Aug. 29th session at 1:00pm or the Friday, Aug. 30th session at 10:00am. There’s a limit of 20 students per session.

For further information, see http://www.dragoncon.org/?q=Acting_Workshop